Reintegration Read online

  “Then tell me about your friends. I’ve seen that spiky-headed man walking around the bunker. What’s the story there?”

  “Oh man, that guy. That fucking Zeke. Let me tell you about Zeke…”

  * * *

  Riva’s room was slightly larger than the one Lexi shared with Callie, and its overhead light cast a steadier glow. The sheets on the small bunk had been smoothed, and clothes were piled at its foot. A little table in the far corner supported a basin of water under a mirror. Tattered posters adorned the walls—pictures of long-dead rock musicians, spindly and genderless, plus a few arty-looking movie posters.

  “Nice place.” Lexi ran her fingers along a bare stretch of metal shelving. “No television, though.”

  “I watch movies in the rec room. I can’t afford my own TV.”

  Lexi wandered the room, driven by genuine curiosity. She’d visited more women’s bedrooms than she could count, but she rarely had the opportunity to inspect their contents. There was usually too much sex going on.

  “Would it disgust you to learn that I’m rich?” she said.

  Riva narrowed her eyes. “Yes. Leave my room immediately.”

  “If it makes any difference, I’ve probably just lost it all.”

  “Because of these people hunting you?”

  “It’s looking that way.” Lexi stared at a poster of a willowy musician attacking an electric guitar. “You should show Callie this. She enjoys the heavy stuff.”

  Pleasure beamed in Riva’s eyes. “She seemed really nice. And she’s very cute.”

  “Sure. But I think you’re better suited to someone sophisticated.”

  “Why rule yourself out so soon?”

  Lexi laughed, but her amusement subsided as she reached the basin. Medication blister packs were strewn around it, a small ocean of foil. She reached for a pack, and Riva stopped her hand.

  “Don’t,” Riva said, her tone too gentle to be a reprimand.

  Lexi chewed on her lower lip. “Are you sick?” That might explain some of the anxious vibes she’d sensed.

  “No.” As Riva stared at the blister packs, Lexi picked up more traces of intense emotion: apprehension, alarm, dismay. And above all, the urge to run and hide. It was a terrible imperative, so primal that every other feeling quailed before it. Lexi had brushed against such knots of inner torment before. They were like chasms in the psyche, rifts in the soul. Some real fucked up shit.

  “Are you okay?” said Riva. “You’ve gone very quiet.”

  “It’s my implant, that’s all. I get these dizzy moments.”

  It didn’t seem to alleviate her concern. “If you don’t mind me asking, what does this implant of yours do?”

  This didn’t seem like the right time to confide. “Well, as it happens, I’m augmented in a few ways. Reflexes, vision. I’m a real killing machine.”

  “As a pacifist, I’m not sure I can share my clothing with a killing machine.”

  “I promise I won’t kill anyone while wearing it.” Lexi shrugged off her jacket. “So, let’s take a look at this shirt.”

  “I have some clean tops here. Nothing fancy.” While Riva rifled through the clothes at the foot of her bed, Lexi undid her shirt and bared herself to the cold air. Riva looked up and reddened. “Oh, I’m sorry…”

  “Should I have warned you? I’ve never really felt the need for a bra. I can barely fill an A-cup.”

  Despite her blush, Riva continued to stare. “I can relate.”

  Being admired was a definite thrill. Lexi angled herself to give Riva a better view, balled her shirt and tossed it to the bed. “I don’t mind being flat. I love boobs, but I don’t really like them on me, you know?”

  “I think I understand.” Riva handed a plain black tee to Lexi. “There’s body spray over there.”

  Lexi took the canister and inspected the label. “Exotic scents. What do you think that means?”

  “No idea. It smells like a rainforest growing inside a chemical plant.”

  The canister rattled as Lexi shook it. She depressed the nozzle, emitting a hiss and a pungent cloud, and directed the spray across her body. An aroma like chocolate, vanilla, and hazardous gases. “Where did you get this?”

  “A friend. For all I know, it’s insecticide with the label swapped.”

  Now freshly scented, Lexi pulled the replacement shirt over her head. A nice tight fit. She put on her jacket and gave it a quick, two-handed tug before turning to the mirror and shifting her white spikes from one messy position to another.

  Satisfied, she gave Riva her most alluring smile. “What do you think?”

  Riva laughed nervously. Her blush hadn’t diminished one bit, despite Lexi’s breasts being once more covered. Maybe she was wondering how to make the first move.

  Well, Lexi could take care of that.

  She placed a hand on Riva’s shoulder, took her by the waist and pulled her close. A frantic tangle of emotions swarmed behind Riva’s eyes, a buzz of contradictions—desire and dread, excitement and horror, pleasure and grief. Not good.

  Lexi loosened her hold on Riva’s now-rigid body. “Riva?”

  “I can’t.” Her eyes glistening, Riva retreated out of Lexi’s reach. “I wanted this, but I can’t…”

  A tear slipped down Riva’s cheek, and Lexi’s stomach convulsed. Shit, what had she done?

  “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Hell, Lexi had scared herself. “I only meant to kiss you. If I’d known it would scare you, I’d never…”

  “It’s me, not you. I’d hoped I’d be brave enough, but I’m not.”

  “Brave enough? Are you a virgin, is that it? Because that doesn’t…” Lexi broke off. That wasn’t it. The real answer lay behind those tearful eyes, somewhere in the darkness Lexi had sensed before. “I just wanted to make out with you, that’s all. I wanted to be assertive, sexy. I messed up.”

  “I told you, it’s not your fault.” Riva turned to the basin and splashed her face. “I must look ridiculous.”

  “No. I think you’ve been hurt in a big way, and you’re scarred up inside. But it’ll get better.” Hell, Lexi was no good at this. She’d become so good at manipulating people that she’d forgotten how to console them. “Just tell me we’re still cool.”

  Her face dripping with water, Riva stared into the mirror. She didn’t seem to be looking at her reflection. She didn’t seem to be looking at anything. “Yes. We’re cool.”

  It still felt wrong, terribly wrong. “Listen, we can have boundaries. I can stop the flirting, the innuendo. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable.”

  “Please don’t change a thing. It’s been a long time since anyone made me laugh, let alone feel attractive.”

  “But right now, you need me to go?”

  “Yes. Just for now.”

  “Okay. Sure.” Lexi managed a smile, but she didn’t have to look in the mirror to know it was a shitty effort. “Thanks for the shirt.”

  Before she stepped through the doorway, she glanced back. Riva still stood over the basin, staring at—or maybe through—her own reflection.

  With as little sound as she could manage, Lexi closed the door. She’d fucked that up.

  * * *

  The door to Lexi’s room was ajar. She approached it cautiously—could Callie be back already?—and peeked through the opening. “Oh, it’s you.”

  “Where have you been?” Standing at the foot of Lexi’s bed, her arms folded, Amity looked every bit as unfriendly as she had the day before. “I’ve been looking for you. Get in here and close the door.”

  Was this an unexpected sexual advance? Hopefully not. For once, Lexi wasn’t in the mood. She trudged into the room and shut the door.

  “You said you could read any mind you wanted to,” said Amity.

  So it was an inquisition. Not much better. “Sure. To my knowledge.”

  “Prove it. Tell me what number I’m thinking of.”

  “Uh, sure.” Lexi peered into Amity’s eyes. Easier to read a
wall. “I’m going to have touch you, okay? On the face is best.”

  “Fine.” Amity squared her shoulders. “Do whatever you want to.”

  “I’m sure you don’t really mean that.” Lexi touched Amity’s high forehead and felt for her mind. It reached back, a whispering, weaving mass. Apprehension: a trembling feeling that disturbed the emotions around it. Determination: hard, cool, vying to hold everything in place. Behind those…anger, deep anger, a molten core of fury.

  “Why are you so angry?” said Lexi, retreating from the scalding heat.

  “I’m not angry. What number?”

  It was easy to find, a free-floating thought above that seething bedrock. “Eighteen.”

  Amity breathed out slowly. “What color?”

  A flash of crimson. “Red.”

  “Tell me why I’ve come to you.”

  “That’ll take me deep. I might see things you don’t want me to.”

  “I have nothing to hide.”

  Everyone had secrets, whether they knew it or not, but Lexi pressed on. The deeper she went, the more confused the impressions became. Voices—shouting, murmuring, a man screaming her name—and images, too many to pick apart without time and care. Abandoned streets. Gunfire. Contorted faces. A knife. Pain. A man lying in a pool of blood. Her hands shaking. You son of a bitch.

  Too deep. Lexi retraced her steps and explored the surface. Now here was something fresh, a vibrant memory no more than an hour old. An argument with Nikolas. He was cautioning her, patronizing her. These decisions are outside the scope of your responsibilities…

  “You and Nikolas fought. You didn’t want to give up the radio phone.”

  “That’s right.” Amity’s face remained calm, but her voice betrayed her astonishment. “I can feel you in my head. It’s like a cold finger brushing down my spine.”

  “You can feel it?” Surprised, Lexi lost her thread, and Amity’s thoughts slipped away. “Nobody’s ever said that to me before. Is it uncomfortable?”

  “No. Just cold. Keep going.”

  Lexi withdrew her hand. “Your mind’s frightening. Just tell me.”

  Amity still hadn’t changed demeanor. “I want you to use your power to help us. Nikolas thinks your implant is immoral, but we don’t have the luxury to moralize. We need to act while we’re the only ones with this weapon.”

  A dangerous line of thinking. “Don’t bring me into your revolution. Smarter people than you have tried and failed.”

  “What have you ever done to justify your comfortable existence, Vale? You’ve lived like a coward, a willing accomplice to the world’s end.”

  Lexi tried a winning grin. “Not going to lie, your flattery needs a lot of work.”

  No luck cracking that stern façade. “I don’t flatter. Nikolas told you that there was no cost for our protection, but he was wrong. There’s always a cost. I need you to help me.”

  Having felt the violent contours of Amity’s mind, Lexi didn’t need to ask what the consequences of refusal might be. “Help you do what?”

  “I suspect one of my people has been working for the Codists. I’m keeping him in a safe house several blocks away. He won’t talk, and Nikolas is too soft to let us interrogate him thoroughly.”

  “So you want me to take a peek in his head, is that it?”

  “I need to know what the traitor has revealed. I need to know if we’re still safe here. If this base were raided, everyone would be wiped. Or killed.”

  Everyone. That would mean… Lexi sighed. “Keep talking.”

  “Nikolas vetoed my idea. He believes your implant is evil, that a person’s mind is sacred. But the alternative is death—death for us and for this traitor too. Come with me tonight to the safe house and we’ll end the farce.”

  This wasn’t Lexi’s scene. Dealing with gangs was easy, just a matter of stroking egos and ensuring a steady cash flow. This driven bitch was something else altogether. “And that’s all?”

  “That’s all. I’ll tell Nikolas the traitor caved in to guilt.”

  “What if he finds out?”

  Amity compressed her lips to a hard, resolute line. “That’s not your concern. I can deal with him.”

  If it meant keeping Riva safe—not to mention preserving Lexi’s only hiding place—it seemed justifiable enough. “All right. I’ll do it.”

  “Good. I don’t expect I’ll enjoy working with you, so let’s try to have as little contact with each other as we can.”

  “Your loss.” Lexi took another quick look into Amity’s eyes. Nothing now but that defiant mental wall. “By the way, you might want to do something about that anger of yours. It can’t be good for you.”

  Amity left without answering, though the force with which she slammed the door made her sentiments very clear.

  Lexi flopped onto her bunk and closed her eyes. If there was ever a time she needed to relax…

  She unzipped her jeans, slipped a hand inside and cupped her vulva, feeling its cleft shape through her panties. Just twenty minutes ago, she’d been horny as fuck for Riva. Now all she could think of was how badly she’d upset her. And then there was Amity’s threat… With all this going on, how the hell was Lexi supposed to get off?

  For as long as she could remember, sex had been her escape of choice, though she only went for women. Something about men left her cold. Almost every night, she tried to squeeze some action in, even if it was only minor: quick fingering in an alley behind a club, some furtive oral sex in a darkened corner, romantic shit like that. And she always mastur­bated before sleeping. Even the night before, with Callie in the other bunk. Subtly, silently.

  Zeke had once suggested that her sex drive was caused by screwy hormones. Had even proposed she get tested, find out if she had too much testosterone. Too much, like a little extra would be a bad thing.

  Maybe that was Riva’s appeal. She had all the physical characteristics that Lexi had learned to love in herself—wide shoulders, absent hips, flat chest, angular facial features. But obviously Riva wasn’t at peace with her looks. She needed confidence. And Lexi had fucked up her chance to help.

  She tried an experimental grind against her palm. Nope. Nothing. For once, her libido was elsewhere.

  Sighing, she drew up her zipper. Maybe next time.

  CHAPTER 8

  The bell chimed, and every student in the lecture theater seemed to exhale at once. “It seems we’re out of time,” said the despised lecturer whose subject, History of Codified Society, made even Social Ethics seem like a good time. “Don’t forget what you need for the exam.” She scowled at the class as they fled their seats.

  Mineko escaped through a side door to the recreational lawn, which stretched beneath a clear morning sky. Most of the students on the grass seemed to be studying, though one pair was engaged in a desultory game of catch. She cut across the lawn, passed an ornamental pond swarming with orange fish, hurried over a flagstone section and reached the long row of white-blossomed trees.

  Several students loitered on the path, the brats of lesser dignitaries. They frowned as she hurried past them. They envied her the advantage of her family name, and why shouldn’t they? The highest strata of elite society, those departmental heads who formed the all-powerful Committee, was impermeable by any means other than birth.

  Avoiding eye contact, Mineko made her way into the dorm building and up to her room. She really needed to stop dashing everywhere with her head down—she looked guilty even when she wasn’t misbehaving.

  She swiped her card, opened the door and stared. Callie sat on the edge of Mineko’s bed, dressed in a gray maintenance uniform. Beneath the brim of her cap, her face was bright with mischief.

  “Hurry up and come inside!” she said. “Somebody might walk past.”

  Her heart hammering, Mineko entered the room and shut the door. “How did you get in here? Callie, this is so dangerous…”

  Callie took off her cap and shook out her hair. It fell in wild disorder, and she flicked a strand fro
m her forehead. “Kade set me up with this uniform and a handy entrance code. As for your room, I kinda broke in. It’s the sort of thing I’m good at.”

  “You weren’t seen?”

  “Sure I was seen, but nobody looked twice. I even fixed a few light bulbs just to keep in character. I also opened up your air conditioner panel to see how it works, but I put it back together afterward, don’t worry.”

  Gripped by meekness, Mineko found herself incapable of taking a single step closer. “Did the others make it to safety?”

  “Sure did. Lexi’s found herself a hottie to play with, and I’m pretty sure Zeke’s sleeping off a few bottles. How about you? Are you holding up?”

  Mineko closed her eyes, and dizziness swept through her. She had to tell the truth, even though it would ruin everything. “No. I’ve done something terrible.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They didn’t know about you. Not until the fight outside Zeke’s. It’s my fault you’re involved.” Mineko opened her eyes. Callie’s face expressed worried compassion, no anger at all. Another guilty lurch rolled through Min’s core. How could this woman be so understanding? “You’ve lost everything, and it’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “But it is. I’m such an idiot.” Mineko’s vision blurred and her throat tightened. “All I wanted to do was help, and I got it wrong. I’m hopeless…”

  “Min, no. Shit, come here.” Callie leapt to her feet, put an arm around Mineko and led them both back to the edge of the bed. Mineko fought not to sob, instead drawing and releasing shivering breaths. She lost the struggle, and to her horror and shame, she began crying.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay.” Callie squeezed Mineko close, and the spasms began to subside. “You did the right thing.”

  Mineko rested her cheek against Callie’s shoulder. Each breath brought in Callie’s scent: the sharp smell of oil, the fragrance of her hair and the light aroma of her sweat. “It gets worse. Lachlan Reed is hunting you.”

  “What’s a Lachlan Reed?”